Monday, September 26, 2011

Diet Crazes (warning censored bad language)

Everyone has their sure fire diet plan.  Well, I do too!  Cue catchy name:

Coffee, Students, and Gin.

Cue easy 5 step plan:

1) drink french press with half and half
2) teach in a low SES school 
3) stay late at work to keep up with all the requirements of your job
4) run your own children (who must be school aged--*refer to diet name) to and fro until bed time
5) have a glass (or two, or -who are we kidding?- three) of gin and soda

Cue amazing results in ridiculous timeline:

6lbs in 1 week.

Cue obscure pricing:

the equivalent tuition rate of 30 post-grad credits beyond Master's plus interest on the Master's and Bachelor's degrees.

Cue cheesy ad:

Want to work you a@# off literally?  Then have I got a job/diet for you....


  1. As appealing as your plan sounds, I think I'll stick with the plate of brownies I had for breakfast. And my kahlua with cream in the evenings.

    You make it sound so glamorous!

  2. I like your diet better. That's my next week's plan....