Friday, March 30, 2012

Coming to Terms with the Honey Bear

I know, he's cute.  A little plastic bear filled to his cute little yellow cap-hat with sweet honey.  He smiles at you, his paws on his little belly just begging to be bought.

I loved the bear as a child, remember being so excited to pour his honey onto my toast.  And then he and I separated.  It was a gradual letting go, so casual I don't remember the exact moment that I grabbed the glass jar instead of him.

I didn't even miss him, it was as if he had never been in my life.  Then one day he returned, showed up in my grocery cart next to the cherubic face of my child who had a smile on his face to match the bears and one that triggered memories long forgotten.

How sweet that moment was, my child, my long lost friend the honey bear. 

Yet, time has shown me why that sweet, innocent looking, narrow lidded, concave in all the wrong places bear had been dropped from my shelves replaced by the sleek glass jar with it's large round opening perfect for dipping a spoon into.

As an adult I wish my childhood honey bear would just go away! There, I said it! But unlike before when he made his slow and unnoticed disappearance, now he stays.  Tormenting and taunting me with that honey stuck in his bent knee AND up in his ear. 

The things we do for our children...

Thursday, March 1, 2012

What my Body Can do


I spend so much time wishing I could do certain things.  Which inherently isn't bad.  It's good to wish and dream, if I were truly thinking about those things with an action plan in mind.  But, I am not usually planning on changing the things I can't do into things I can do, I am mostly beating myself up for what I can't and won't ever do. 
On my way to work this morning I was thinking about the Regina Spektor song, "Folding Chair." It's been playing in my head since I read the post I shared yesterday on this blog. And I kept coming back to how much I love that line,
"I’ve got a perfect body, though sometimes I forget
I’ve got a perfect body cause my eyelashes catch my sweat
Yes, they do, they do…"
so true! They really do catch my sweat just as they are supposed to.  And I got to thinking about everything else my body does exactly as it is supposed to.
My body sleeps soundly when it is tired. And for that there is no substitute, nothing I'd rather it did instead.
My body conceived, nurtured, and birthed two amazing children. And I wouldn't have asked anything more from it.
My body walks me across parking lots in rain, sunshine, snow, and I don't even have to park near the door because my body does not care about distance.  I recognize my amazing body whenever I see someone with a handicap parking permit painstakingly move from one place to the next and I am grateful.
My body bikes alongside my partner and pushes itself to complete a ride no matter how much it wants to quit. And when it's done, my body feels the pain and revels in it.
My body loves the taste of food and savors in each bite. Even better, my body can prepare that food for its' own pleasure.
My body can lift big objects and carry them to wherever they need to go.  Sometimes I lift heavy objects just because I can. I love my muscles in that moment--no bulk about it.
My body can laze in the sun and ski in the snow. And both are exactly as it should be. Because sometimes I want to be still and sometimes I want to move and my body can do both.
My body knows when to smile and when to laugh and does both with abandon.  It also knows when to cry.  If I had my way I'd try to micromanage the crying, but my body knows what it needs and it does it.
My body CAN and it DOES and it WILL DO.
"I’ve got a perfect body, though sometimes I forget
I’ve got a perfect body cause my eyelashes catch my sweat
Yes, they do, they do…"